12 November 2012
I need to get back into the habit of writing regularly so I figured I should journal some. Apparently I haven't updated this blog since December of 2010. Nearly two years ago. And when I started this blog it was for a fresh, new start because I hadn't updated my old blog (Xanga) in so long.
How did I get so out of the habit? Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. I guess. They provide me with all of my micro blogging and photo blogging needs. I don't feel the need to sit down and write a page or two at the end of my day anymore. I've been updating about my day from the time I woke up. Well, no more.
Time to feel like writing again.
I'll start with miscellaneous recent thoughts and occurrences:
Yesterday I was tired, cranky and just not feeling all that great during church service. I kept wanting to lean over and rest my head on Cliff's shoulder for comfort. But every time I got ready to, I kept imagining my grandma-Gam we call her.
A couple of weeks ago Cliff and I went to church with her and toward the end of service, after offering, I leaned over and gave Clifford a little half-hug with one arm. This resulted in an immediate, sharp reprimand. "Not in church!" Gam scolded me, apparently scandalized by my behavior.
Yesterday I was at my own church. And at my own church I do sometimes hug my boyfriend or rest my head on his shoulder when I am tired. Gam is't there. But yesterday I kept imagining her sitting in the row right behind me, like she did when I was growing up. And I had an expectation that as soon as I leaned my head over onto Cliff's shoulder, she would flick me right in the back of the head or on my ear.
So I sat up straight all the way through service, lest she materialize in the row behind me while I wasn't looking.
Just as well though. I didn't die from exhaustion.
Other things that happened yesterday(I want to go back to keeping a log of my daily events. One day I won't remember these days):
- Cliff and I made little pizzas. We didn't have any shredded mozzarella so we resorted to string cheese. Mostly Cliff made them while I lazily laid around playing Draw Something on my phone (yes, there are people who still play Draw Something). The pizzas were delicious.
-Cliff and I watched Bones.
- The weather was amazing. Cliff and I raked leaves with my grandfather-Papa we call him, and my Uncle Leon. I kept shirking off my responsibilities so I could use my cell phone to try getting pictures of the three of them working together. This was mostly unsuccessful.
- I had tea with Deanna and Joel. Deanna is my accountability partner. I meet with her to tell her a lot of personal things regarding my spiritual life. She reprimands me when I need to be reprimanded and encourages me when I need to be encouraged. She feeds me. It's good.
- I worked on logo designs for the Students for the Natural Empowerment of Black Women at Miami University. I couldn't find my colored pencils and my computer is down so I worked with pencil and crayon. I tried my best.
- I talked to my mom on the phone. My first time hearing her say the "N" word. Caught me off guard. Apparently she think I'm an adult now.
I think that was mostly everything noteworthy about yesterday.
Now I have finally written a blog entry. I can get back into the habit. I can improve my writing skills.
See you tomorrow.
Nadj
27 December 2010
Yesterday I Did Seventy-five Things
Here is part of my 750Word entry from yesterday. It is an account of my day.
Ready? Go. The day I lived today was one well worth noting. Let me start from morning and go until now.
1) Wake up
2) Brush teeth
3) Run into Corey Easterday who slept at my house last night.
4) Go attempt to wake Cliff.
5) Fail at waking Cliff.
6) Start hot water for tea.
7) Go back to bed for half an hour.
8) Attempt to wake Cliff a second time.
9) Fail to wake Cliff a second time.
10) Make tea.
11) Get breakfast.
12) Hear Corey ignore his Bed Intruder Song alarm while eating breakfast.
13) Get dressed.
14) Put on coat.
15) Hug Cliff and Corey goodbye.
16) Get an offer for a ride to Ekklesia from Corey.
17) Accept ride.
18) Arrive to Ekklesia much earlier than anticipated.
19) Converse with Ekklesia friends while eating both home made and store bought muffins.
20) Meet new mother and her two sons.
21) Attend Ekklesia's worship service.
22) Head downstairs with mother and two sons to play and give Bible lesson.
23) Head back upstairs to enjoy more muffins while conversing with Ekklesia friends once more.
24) Get an offer for a ride from Pastor James.
25) Accept ride.
26) Arrive at home and change into pajamas.
27) Clean Bathroom.
28) Clean kitchen.
29) Make tea.
30) Talk to Stephanie on the phone.
31) Greet Cliff as he arrives from church and lunch with Corey.
32) Invite Stephanie over.
33) Open box mix for oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that Andrew Gradisher gave us. 34) Let Stephanie in.
35) Remark upon beautiful and newly cut hair.
36) Bake cookies while conversing with Stephanie.
37) Have tea with Stephanie and Cliff.
38) Get ready to head back to Ekklesia.
39) Get an offer for a ride.
40) Accept offer.
41) Arrive at Ekklesia.
42) Say goodbye and thank you to Stephanie.
43) Eat more muffins while conversing with Ekklesia friends.
44) Attend Ekklesia worship service once more.
45) Miss my church.
46) Go downstairs with children.
47) Play and teach Bible lesson.
48) Go upstairs.
49) Ignore enthusiastic invitation to Applebees from Phil.
50) Put on coat and hat.
51) Ignore announcement for trip to Applebees from Phil.
52) Attempt to ignore third invitation to Applebees from Phil.
53) Fail at ignoring third invitation to Applebees from Phil.
54) Attempt to find an excuse not to join.
55) Fail at finding an excuse not to join.
56) Accept invitation.
57) Ask Phil for a ride.
58) Get a ride with Phil to Applebees.
59) Get excited about half off appetizers.
60) Remember that mozzarella cheese sticks are amazing.
61) Enjoy myself.
62) Fish around in my pocket for money.
63) Realize that Phil picked up my check. That was nice.
64) Text Stephen to ask if I can come over.
65) Ask Phil for a ride to Stephen's.
66) Get a ride to Stephen's.
67) Thank Phil.
68) Stand outside of Stephen's building for an extended period of time ringing the bell and calling his cell.
69) Attempt to break in.
70) Fail at breaking in.
71) Discover Stephen.
72) Enter with Stephen.
73) Enjoy Stephen's company.
74) Write 750 words.
75) That was nice.
Ready? Go. The day I lived today was one well worth noting. Let me start from morning and go until now.
1) Wake up
2) Brush teeth
3) Run into Corey Easterday who slept at my house last night.
4) Go attempt to wake Cliff.
5) Fail at waking Cliff.
6) Start hot water for tea.
7) Go back to bed for half an hour.
8) Attempt to wake Cliff a second time.
9) Fail to wake Cliff a second time.
10) Make tea.
11) Get breakfast.
12) Hear Corey ignore his Bed Intruder Song alarm while eating breakfast.
13) Get dressed.
14) Put on coat.
15) Hug Cliff and Corey goodbye.
16) Get an offer for a ride to Ekklesia from Corey.
17) Accept ride.
18) Arrive to Ekklesia much earlier than anticipated.
19) Converse with Ekklesia friends while eating both home made and store bought muffins.
20) Meet new mother and her two sons.
21) Attend Ekklesia's worship service.
22) Head downstairs with mother and two sons to play and give Bible lesson.
23) Head back upstairs to enjoy more muffins while conversing with Ekklesia friends once more.
24) Get an offer for a ride from Pastor James.
25) Accept ride.
26) Arrive at home and change into pajamas.
27) Clean Bathroom.
28) Clean kitchen.
29) Make tea.
30) Talk to Stephanie on the phone.
31) Greet Cliff as he arrives from church and lunch with Corey.
32) Invite Stephanie over.
33) Open box mix for oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that Andrew Gradisher gave us. 34) Let Stephanie in.
35) Remark upon beautiful and newly cut hair.
36) Bake cookies while conversing with Stephanie.
37) Have tea with Stephanie and Cliff.
38) Get ready to head back to Ekklesia.
39) Get an offer for a ride.
40) Accept offer.
41) Arrive at Ekklesia.
42) Say goodbye and thank you to Stephanie.
43) Eat more muffins while conversing with Ekklesia friends.
44) Attend Ekklesia worship service once more.
45) Miss my church.
46) Go downstairs with children.
47) Play and teach Bible lesson.
48) Go upstairs.
49) Ignore enthusiastic invitation to Applebees from Phil.
50) Put on coat and hat.
51) Ignore announcement for trip to Applebees from Phil.
52) Attempt to ignore third invitation to Applebees from Phil.
53) Fail at ignoring third invitation to Applebees from Phil.
54) Attempt to find an excuse not to join.
55) Fail at finding an excuse not to join.
56) Accept invitation.
57) Ask Phil for a ride.
58) Get a ride with Phil to Applebees.
59) Get excited about half off appetizers.
60) Remember that mozzarella cheese sticks are amazing.
61) Enjoy myself.
62) Fish around in my pocket for money.
63) Realize that Phil picked up my check. That was nice.
64) Text Stephen to ask if I can come over.
65) Ask Phil for a ride to Stephen's.
66) Get a ride to Stephen's.
67) Thank Phil.
68) Stand outside of Stephen's building for an extended period of time ringing the bell and calling his cell.
69) Attempt to break in.
70) Fail at breaking in.
71) Discover Stephen.
72) Enter with Stephen.
73) Enjoy Stephen's company.
74) Write 750 words.
75) That was nice.
28 October 2010
My Days Are Weeks
Every day I spend all of my time thinking, feeling and doing things. And all day while I'm thinking, feeling and doing I say to myself, "Self, when I get home I am going to write what I think, feel and do today on my blog." But when I get home I can never remember what it is I was thinking, feeling or doing during the day that I deemed noteworthy.
Because of this I am going to make a journal. And I will carry this journal with me all day so I can take notes on what I think, feel and do. When I get home I will write about it.
One thing I can remember thinking/ feeling is that time has been passing in an unusual way recently. It always seemed before that time passed a day at a time. Sure, I had to live in seconds, minutes and hours too. But every second that added up to a minute that added up to an hour ultimately added up to a day. And when that day was over we'd have the next day.
When the next day got here I'd be thinking, "Okay, this is what happened yesterday. Now to move on to today."
But not anymore. It seems like time is moving a week at a time, which I find to be somewhat alarming. When time moves in weeks it moves much faster. My seconds, minutes and hours have not been ultimately adding up to days. It just keeps on going until my days add up to weeks. I understand if this doesn't make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me.
When I get to work, let's say on a Tuesday, I can remember last Tuesday and the recent Tuesdays before it as if they were yesterday, the day before and so on. It's this routine thing. I walk in the door and notice there are boxes boxes everywhere everywhere.
They are in piles. I make a note to myself, "Today is Tuesday. It is Dan's day off." Dan is responsible for taking in stock, and when he is not there it is notable that all of the stock that comes in gets left in piles until someone who is not Dan comes along and puts everything where it is supposed to go.
And every Tuesday it seems like just yesterday I can remember walking through the door, out of the dark morning and into the harsh florescent lighting, to find stacks of boxes everywhere. And I remember the last time I maneuvered my way through the maze of box stacks and looked up at the hooks on the wall to decide where I wanted to hang my bag and sweater. This is every day. This is every day. This is every day. Every day.
But it's not every day. It is only every Tuesday.
Dan has every Thursday off too, but I come in much later in the day, so it's different.
Every Saturday Erin and I walk to work together because we both work lunch. I remember Saturday upon Saturday before that as if they were just yesterday and yesterday and yesterday.
Tomorrow is Friday. I know that Friday will seem like tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow (...creeps in this petty pace from day to day - jaja sorry).
Because of this strange phenomenon, August has become late October. It's practically November, and in less than two weeks' time it seems.
It certainly does seem that way.
And if August could so quickly become November, then what's to stop November from becoming next November in less than a month's time? And next thing you know my grand children will be graduating from high school and only a few short years have gone by.
Or what's to stop time from changing its pace yet again? What if we start moving in months? We'll go from First Friday to First Friday. That is another mark, by the way. At every First Friday I feel as if we just did this a few days ago.
I will retire soon and I haven't even started my career yet.
No bother though. I suppose this only means I will be an amazing pianist before long. And I'll eight beautiful children before you know it.
But that has to mean that my parents will be old soon and my grandparents will be gone.
No no. It will not do for time to continue on in this fashion.
Maybe today will happen in only a day, and not a week.
We'll have to see.
~Nadia
Because of this I am going to make a journal. And I will carry this journal with me all day so I can take notes on what I think, feel and do. When I get home I will write about it.
One thing I can remember thinking/ feeling is that time has been passing in an unusual way recently. It always seemed before that time passed a day at a time. Sure, I had to live in seconds, minutes and hours too. But every second that added up to a minute that added up to an hour ultimately added up to a day. And when that day was over we'd have the next day.
When the next day got here I'd be thinking, "Okay, this is what happened yesterday. Now to move on to today."
But not anymore. It seems like time is moving a week at a time, which I find to be somewhat alarming. When time moves in weeks it moves much faster. My seconds, minutes and hours have not been ultimately adding up to days. It just keeps on going until my days add up to weeks. I understand if this doesn't make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me.
When I get to work, let's say on a Tuesday, I can remember last Tuesday and the recent Tuesdays before it as if they were yesterday, the day before and so on. It's this routine thing. I walk in the door and notice there are boxes boxes everywhere everywhere.
They are in piles. I make a note to myself, "Today is Tuesday. It is Dan's day off." Dan is responsible for taking in stock, and when he is not there it is notable that all of the stock that comes in gets left in piles until someone who is not Dan comes along and puts everything where it is supposed to go.
And every Tuesday it seems like just yesterday I can remember walking through the door, out of the dark morning and into the harsh florescent lighting, to find stacks of boxes everywhere. And I remember the last time I maneuvered my way through the maze of box stacks and looked up at the hooks on the wall to decide where I wanted to hang my bag and sweater. This is every day. This is every day. This is every day. Every day.
But it's not every day. It is only every Tuesday.
Dan has every Thursday off too, but I come in much later in the day, so it's different.
Every Saturday Erin and I walk to work together because we both work lunch. I remember Saturday upon Saturday before that as if they were just yesterday and yesterday and yesterday.
Tomorrow is Friday. I know that Friday will seem like tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow (...creeps in this petty pace from day to day - jaja sorry).
Because of this strange phenomenon, August has become late October. It's practically November, and in less than two weeks' time it seems.
It certainly does seem that way.
And if August could so quickly become November, then what's to stop November from becoming next November in less than a month's time? And next thing you know my grand children will be graduating from high school and only a few short years have gone by.
Or what's to stop time from changing its pace yet again? What if we start moving in months? We'll go from First Friday to First Friday. That is another mark, by the way. At every First Friday I feel as if we just did this a few days ago.
I will retire soon and I haven't even started my career yet.
No bother though. I suppose this only means I will be an amazing pianist before long. And I'll eight beautiful children before you know it.
But that has to mean that my parents will be old soon and my grandparents will be gone.
No no. It will not do for time to continue on in this fashion.
Maybe today will happen in only a day, and not a week.
We'll have to see.
~Nadia
17 September 2010
Draft Saved 12:51 PM
Last night I woke, spat half of a tooth into my hand, examined it sleepily and set it next to my lamp at my bedside. It was surreal. I've had dreams of breaking teeth and teeth falling out before. I wasn't sure if I was awake or if I was asleep. I went to the bathroom, decided not to turn the light on and decided not to look in the mirror, lest I have nightmares about toothless smiles. I went back to bed and had nightmares about toothless smiles.
When I woke again this morning I thought all of it was a dream, but the half-broken tooth remained at my bedside, and there was an empty space in my mouth where there hadn't been before.
This is okay. That tooth was already broken. It broke in half three years ago, so I wasn't super surprised when it broke again. But I think I need to go to the dentist.
Yesterday I started an account with 750words.com. If you haven't heard of this website, it's really neat. I recommend it. It's for writers, and thinkers and people who are alive. Basically you just get on and write, write, write until you've reached at least seven hundred fifty words. This is supposed to clear your mind of clutter, something I often have a very difficult time with.
It's based on the idea of "morning pages," where you write three pages every morning when you wake up, before you do anything else. It's supposed to help improve your writing. I just find it to be very therapeutic. It's private and there is no setting that allows other people to read it. So I just go go go until my thoughts have stopped. I like to read the information that the website draws from whatever I write. It gives statistics like the words you most frequently use, how you were feeling when you wrote it, and how long it took to read 750 words. So far I am most amazed by how it accesses my feelings. Yesterday I didn't think I wrote anything to indicate how I felt and it still accessed my emotional status very accurately. So yeah, you should try it. I am glad that Joel and Deanna told me about it.
Today I am getting my dreads worked on and I am very excited about that.
I should go home and eat. I am hungry.
Blah blah blah blah. I should start taking notes throughout the day. I always think about things I want to write later and then forget.
Anyway, I love you and I'll see you later.
~Nadj
When I woke again this morning I thought all of it was a dream, but the half-broken tooth remained at my bedside, and there was an empty space in my mouth where there hadn't been before.
This is okay. That tooth was already broken. It broke in half three years ago, so I wasn't super surprised when it broke again. But I think I need to go to the dentist.
Yesterday I started an account with 750words.com. If you haven't heard of this website, it's really neat. I recommend it. It's for writers, and thinkers and people who are alive. Basically you just get on and write, write, write until you've reached at least seven hundred fifty words. This is supposed to clear your mind of clutter, something I often have a very difficult time with.
It's based on the idea of "morning pages," where you write three pages every morning when you wake up, before you do anything else. It's supposed to help improve your writing. I just find it to be very therapeutic. It's private and there is no setting that allows other people to read it. So I just go go go until my thoughts have stopped. I like to read the information that the website draws from whatever I write. It gives statistics like the words you most frequently use, how you were feeling when you wrote it, and how long it took to read 750 words. So far I am most amazed by how it accesses my feelings. Yesterday I didn't think I wrote anything to indicate how I felt and it still accessed my emotional status very accurately. So yeah, you should try it. I am glad that Joel and Deanna told me about it.
Today I am getting my dreads worked on and I am very excited about that.
I should go home and eat. I am hungry.
Blah blah blah blah. I should start taking notes throughout the day. I always think about things I want to write later and then forget.
Anyway, I love you and I'll see you later.
~Nadj
15 September 2010
On Days Like Today
Hello world on the other side of the screen.
On days like today I go to work and make coffee at 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then spill it all over myself. Burning my hand with coffee is good for making tasks that aren't particularly enjoyable in the first place absolutely miserable.
For instance: Cleaning dirty tables.
Cleaning dirty tables is not absolutely miserable. It can be dull, or frustrating when people are slobs (and more often than not they are). Even so, while I would not choose cleaning dirty tables as my activity for a leisurely afternoon, it is not miserable.
Cleaning dirty tables with a burned hand can be miserable, especially if you are as spacey and inattentive to everything in life as I am. Here's the way it goes:
Step One - Fill bucket with hot soapy water.
Step Two - Grab a rag with burned hand.
Step Three - Plunge burned hand that is now holding the rag into hot, soapy water.
Step Four - Holy freaking ouch, putting a burned hand in hot water hurts. Withdraw hand.
Step Five - Decide to use left hand for wiping tables.
Step Six - After after immense pain in hand mellows, absentmindedly dismiss step five while daydreaming.
Step seven - Repeat steps three through five until all of the tables are clean.
And the beat goes on.
On days like today there is always a wide variety of tasks that aren't particularly enjoyable in the first place that can be made absolutely miserable by having a burned hand, and a not so wide of a variety of burn relief medicines in the first aid kit back in the kitchen. Oh well.
I've been feeling kind of antsy recently. Like, no matter what I'm in the middle of, I'm only half doing it because really I'm just waiting for what I'm going to do next. All day at work I think of leaving work to go do other things. But even after I get off of work, I never feel content with doing what I've been waiting to do; I want to stop in the middle of it and start on the next thing. The only time I feel content to continue what I'm doing is when I'm asleep. Maybe I'm just tired.
My days seem to drag on endlessly.
My days seem to pass me by at an alarmingly rapid pace.
I couldn't tell you what I spend my time doing every day.
I forget what it is I've been looking forward to, but I can't wait.
Anyway, I wish I could write like I used to. I think maybe I am in a...what's it called when you're stuck in one spot and lacking creativity? I'm stuck in one of those.
I love you. Goodbye.
~Nadj
On days like today I go to work and make coffee at 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then spill it all over myself. Burning my hand with coffee is good for making tasks that aren't particularly enjoyable in the first place absolutely miserable.
For instance: Cleaning dirty tables.
Cleaning dirty tables is not absolutely miserable. It can be dull, or frustrating when people are slobs (and more often than not they are). Even so, while I would not choose cleaning dirty tables as my activity for a leisurely afternoon, it is not miserable.
Cleaning dirty tables with a burned hand can be miserable, especially if you are as spacey and inattentive to everything in life as I am. Here's the way it goes:
Step One - Fill bucket with hot soapy water.
Step Two - Grab a rag with burned hand.
Step Three - Plunge burned hand that is now holding the rag into hot, soapy water.
Step Four - Holy freaking ouch, putting a burned hand in hot water hurts. Withdraw hand.
Step Five - Decide to use left hand for wiping tables.
Step Six - After after immense pain in hand mellows, absentmindedly dismiss step five while daydreaming.
Step seven - Repeat steps three through five until all of the tables are clean.
And the beat goes on.
On days like today there is always a wide variety of tasks that aren't particularly enjoyable in the first place that can be made absolutely miserable by having a burned hand, and a not so wide of a variety of burn relief medicines in the first aid kit back in the kitchen. Oh well.
I've been feeling kind of antsy recently. Like, no matter what I'm in the middle of, I'm only half doing it because really I'm just waiting for what I'm going to do next. All day at work I think of leaving work to go do other things. But even after I get off of work, I never feel content with doing what I've been waiting to do; I want to stop in the middle of it and start on the next thing. The only time I feel content to continue what I'm doing is when I'm asleep. Maybe I'm just tired.
My days seem to drag on endlessly.
My days seem to pass me by at an alarmingly rapid pace.
I couldn't tell you what I spend my time doing every day.
I forget what it is I've been looking forward to, but I can't wait.
Anyway, I wish I could write like I used to. I think maybe I am in a...what's it called when you're stuck in one spot and lacking creativity? I'm stuck in one of those.
I love you. Goodbye.
~Nadj
14 September 2010
Break From My Keys
Hello Internet World
Today I was very tired. Tomorrow I'm sure I will be tired again. Somehow an entire week has passed since my last piano lesson and I've managed to let that week pass without practicing. So today I wanted to try and make up for that week before tomorrow's lesson.
So far...I'm tired.
I don't mind though. I just want to go back to my lesson tomorrow having improved, and I'm willing to sacrifice some rest for that. But right now I'm taking a break from the keys.
You know what's amusing to me? When, as a goodbye you tell someone to have a good such and such and they respond by saying, "You too," even though it doesn't apply. Example:
ME: Hey, how's it going?
FRIEND: Alright, on my way to visit my brother. You?
ME: I'm good. I'm on my way to work.
FRIEND: Blah blah blah. Random small talk.
ME: Blah blah blah. Showing interest in what you have to say for five minutes.
FRIEND: Okay, well I've gotta get going. Good seeing you.
ME: Yeah. it was good seeing you. Have a good time visiting your brother.
FRIEND: Yeah, you too.
But I'm not going to visit my brother; I'm going to work. So it isn't likely that I will too. This happens nearly almost every day. Either I accidentally say, "You too," and catch myself in the middle of saying it, but can't change it before it's too late, or someone else says it and walks away. It's like we're stuck in these auto-pilot conversation lines and even if what we automatically are going to say doesn't fit into the conversation, we can't help saying it anyway.
I have taken to getting up at 5:30 a.m. and writing before getting ready for work. In a way it's therapeutic. But I need to make sure I get enough rest.
I have a lot on my mind and I would like to write all of it out. But I should get back to my keys.
I love you. Good night.
~Nadj
Today I was very tired. Tomorrow I'm sure I will be tired again. Somehow an entire week has passed since my last piano lesson and I've managed to let that week pass without practicing. So today I wanted to try and make up for that week before tomorrow's lesson.
So far...I'm tired.
I don't mind though. I just want to go back to my lesson tomorrow having improved, and I'm willing to sacrifice some rest for that. But right now I'm taking a break from the keys.
You know what's amusing to me? When, as a goodbye you tell someone to have a good such and such and they respond by saying, "You too," even though it doesn't apply. Example:
ME: Hey, how's it going?
FRIEND: Alright, on my way to visit my brother. You?
ME: I'm good. I'm on my way to work.
FRIEND: Blah blah blah. Random small talk.
ME: Blah blah blah. Showing interest in what you have to say for five minutes.
FRIEND: Okay, well I've gotta get going. Good seeing you.
ME: Yeah. it was good seeing you. Have a good time visiting your brother.
FRIEND: Yeah, you too.
But I'm not going to visit my brother; I'm going to work. So it isn't likely that I will too. This happens nearly almost every day. Either I accidentally say, "You too," and catch myself in the middle of saying it, but can't change it before it's too late, or someone else says it and walks away. It's like we're stuck in these auto-pilot conversation lines and even if what we automatically are going to say doesn't fit into the conversation, we can't help saying it anyway.
I have taken to getting up at 5:30 a.m. and writing before getting ready for work. In a way it's therapeutic. But I need to make sure I get enough rest.
I have a lot on my mind and I would like to write all of it out. But I should get back to my keys.
I love you. Good night.
~Nadj
08 September 2010
What do I want to title this?
Sometimes I feel like my thoughts and feelings don’t exist unless I write them down. I haven’t been writing often recently, so they get all built up and backed up. They pile up more and more inside of me until them come spilling out all over the place in ways that don’t make sense: usually in the form of incoherent rambling to anyone around that seems mildly interested in what I have to say.
I get frustrated with people a lot. I feel like no one really takes life seriously. Is everyone’s main priority cost and convenience? Contrary to what people say, it seems to me that most people care about their money first and then their comfort. The lives of those around them and even their own lives take minimal concern.
I need to go home so I can make things I guess. I thought I was really in the mood for writing.
Apparently not.
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